Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sardhar Jokes

Sugar Test

 

Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside  and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told  him to check sugar level regularly.

 

Apple in a Mango Tree

 

Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked "Too upper  kyon aaya?" Sardar "Apple Khane" Monkey "Yeh to mango tree"  Sardar "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon"

 

Sardars and scooter

 

 Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his  hand. One of the Sardars told We are already three, sorry, there is no  space.

 

Lion and Sardars

 

 Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells "Why should I be  running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

 

 Cyclone

 

 Bank manager asks Sardar in an intervi ew "What is cyclone"  Sardar "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

 

 Side Effects

 

 Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you  know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!

 

 Same person

 

 Sardar looked himself in a mirror and said "Isko kahin dekha hai... Haan!  Yaad aaya, yeh to wahi kameena hai jo mere shaadi ke album mein mere biwi  ke saath hai"

 

 Bus tickets

 

 Bus conductor Ticket, ticket  Sardar Give two tickets  Conductor Why two?  Sardar If I lose one, another will be there  Conductor What if you lose both?  Sardar No problem, I have pass...

 

Advice

 

 A famous Sardar's declaration to the media "I will never marry in my  life. And I will advise the same to my children too"

 

Oxygen

 

 Teacher Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773.

 Sardar Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would  have died...

 

Skeleton

 

 Interviewer What is a skeleton?

 Sardar Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop  it!!

 

 Starting Salary

 

 MD I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.

 Sardar Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

 

 New moon day

 

 ISRO sent a Sardar to Moon. Sardar got into rocket, but jumped halfway,  shouting "How dare you cheat me. Today is new moon day. There will be no  moon"

 

Hindi and English

 

Sardarni to a doctor Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya  Doctor I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English   Sardarni My londa gironda from Hero Honda

 

 Yes/No

 

Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of  Yes/No type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at  the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes  his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer  sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

 

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is  sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately  flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

 

The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.  Sardar replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very  good."

 

 Microsoft Office

 

 Interviewer Do you know Microsoft Office?

 Sardar No, but I can find it if you give address...

 

 Compound Sentence

 

 Teacher Tell a compound sentence.

 Sardar Stick No Bills!

 

Colour TV

 

Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why?

He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!

 

Calender

 

 A person went to a Sardar's shop.

 Person I want 2007 calender

 Sardar Sorry sir, you are too late. We have only 1000 calenders left

 

  Lottery

 

 Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for

 that. He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax  and gave him 7 crores.

 Sardar Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back

 

 Imagination

 

 Sardar went to an interview.

 Interviewer Imagine that you are in the fifteenth floor. Suddenly fire  bursts out, and there are many people who are struggling to survive. In  that situation, what do you do ?  Sardar Oye! I will stop imagining

 

ATM PIN

 

 Sardar was drawing money from ATM.

 A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've

 seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks ().

 Sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

 

Sun v/s Moon

 

 Sardar's theory The moon is more important than the sun, because the moon  gives light at night when it is needed, but the sun gives light during day  when it is available abundantly...

 

 Delivered

 

 Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to  his phone and he started dancing. Why?

 The report said, "DELIVERED".

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