9 Things the Happiest People Never Do

Many people think happiness, both professional and personal, is based on having a bigger house, nicer car, larger income. It's all about better, faster, higher, more.

Yet the happiest people I know focus a lot more on what they do, not on what they have. They see a great outcome as a wonderful byproduct of a personal journey and not a primary goal. In short, their perspectives and beliefs are different.

Here are things the happiest people don't do:

1. They don't compare themselves to others people.

No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone who is more successful. No matter how big your business gets, there will always be a bigger business. Unless you're Serena Williams or Stephen Hawking or Richard Branson, there will always someone better or smarter or richer.

To be happy, only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday--and to the person you hope someday to become. You may never be the best, but you will gain incredible satisfaction from being the best you that you can possibly be.

That's all you can control--and all that really matters.

2. They don't need to succeed on their own.

Solo success is rewarding.

Achieving something with another person or a team is awesome. Not only do you feel good about yourself, you feel great about other people--and you create a connection that can last a lifetime.

And if you do fail, you fail together, which makes that failure a lot easier to take and provides the support to help you try again.

3. They don't ignore an obvious source of fun.

When you were a kid, you sometimes ran simply for the joy of running. You jumped and rolled and skipped because it felt good. Without thinking, you used your body as a way to celebrate being alive.

Now you don't.

Try something for me. Go ride a bike. Or jump on a trampoline. Sure, it's a little awkward now, but it's still really fun. Or swim, or play a game, or take a hike or a long walk.

You might get a little bummed because you'll realize you're no longer young...but you'll also find out you're not as old as you think.

And you'll realize there's still a kid inside you. That realization alone will make you happier and, in time, will help you see the world and your place in it in a different and better way.

4. They don't wish for luck.

Why? The things we earn are infinitely more gratifying.

If you saved up to buy your first car, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you worked and hustled and saved and finally had enough to buy your car, you appreciated it. You took care of it. It was yours, both practically and emotionally.

If you were given a car, that was pretty cool--but you didn't really feel anything. (Except possibly gratitude.)

If you want to wish for something, wish for the strength and perseverance to earn the things you want. Don't wait for luck to bring you that enabling client; work your butt off to land that enabling client.

That way, you'll not only enjoy the destination, you'll appreciate and be fulfilled by the journey.

5. They aren't afraid of being afraid.

Nothing beats how you feel immediately after you put a fear aside and take the plunge. And that feeling lingers for a long time. Think about the speech you dreaded giving; immediately after, even if you bombed, you felt a sense of relief and even exhilaration. You did it!

Facing a fear makes you feel alive. The more alive you feel, the happier you will be.

Pick a small fear and stare it down. I promise you'll feel awesome afterward. Keep doing it and, in time, you'll open yourself up to new experiences, new sensations, new friends--and a richer, more fulfilling life.

6. They aren't afraid to be "immature."

You're incredibly focused, consistently on point, and relentlessly efficient. Your life is dialed in.

Your life is also really, really boring.

Remember when you were young and followed a stupid idea to an illogical conclusion? Road trips to nowhere, trying to eat six saltine crackers in one minute without water, staying up all night just to see who fell asleep first. You dined out on those stories for years.

Going on a mission was super pointless and super fun. In fact, the more pointless the mission, the more fun you had, because missions were all about the ride, not the destination.

So do something, just once, that you no longer do. Drive eight hours to see a show. Get up really early and buy your seafood at the dock. Ride along with a policeman on a Friday night (easily the king of eye-opening experiences).

Do something no one else thinks to do. Or pick something that doesn't make sense to do a certain way and do it that way. You'll remember the experience forever.

The joy of possession comes and goes. The joy of experience, especially an unusual experience, lasts forever.

7. They don't forget to be happy for other people.

Don't wish someone else had gotten the recognition they deserved. Don't someday regret not having let people know how you felt, how you cared, or how much you appreciated them.

The act of recognition is just as fulfilling as the receipt. Make someone else feel good and you instantly feel good, too.

Best of all, you can do something good for someone else and the joy you feel will never, ever diminish.

8. They don't act against their values.

Few things create greater trauma and stress than when what we do doesn't match what we value.

Pick three things you value most. You might value pride, or sincerity, or faith, or family, or cooperation, or adventure, or camaraderie, or humility, or independence--the list is endless. Pick three.

Then determine how much of your time--and how much of your money--is spent on those values. The more time you spend fostering and honoring your values, the happier you will be.

Live your values and you can't help but be happy and more joyful--because in those moments, you are exactly who you truly wish to be.

9. They aren't afraid to be themselves.

Everyone wears armor: armor that protects but in time also destroys.

The armor we wear is primarily forged by success. Every accomplishment adds an additional layer of protection from vulnerability. In fact, when we feel particularly insecure, we unconsciously strap on more armor so we feel less vulnerable.

Armor is the guy who joins a pickup basketball game with younger, better players and feels compelled to say, "Hi, I'm Joe--I'm the CEO of ACME Industries." Armor is driving your Mercedes to a reunion even though taking your other car would be much more practical. Armor is saying, at the start of a presentation, "Look, I'm not very good at speaking to groups...I spend all day running my huge factory."

Armor protects us when we're unsure, tentative, or at a perceived disadvantage. Armor says, "That's OK. I may not be good at this but I'm really good at that. (So there.)"

Over time, armor also encourages us to narrow our focus to our strengths so we can stay safe. The more armor we build up, the more we can hide our weaknesses and failings--from others and from ourselves.

Take off your armor. Sure, it's scary. But it's also liberating, because then you get to be the person you really are and, in time, start to really like the person you really are.

Which is the surest road to happiness.

8 Ways Leaders Spend Their Time After Hours

Have you heard the old proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” or worse yet, heard it said about you? If so, you might be spending too much time at work and not enough time playing. Without time off from work, people can become both bored and boring.Even the most successful and productive people make outside interests a priority. So what do they do that you can do too? Here’s a list.

1. They get outside.

Breathing in the fresh air of nature can be regenerative after a long day in the office. Stretch your legs and your senses by drinking in the healing properties nature provides. It’s not natural to sit all day under fluorescent lights. And it’s not ideal.

Find time to get your mind off of work and engage in an outdoor passion, like fishing, hiking, birdwatching, surfing or skiing. Such extracurricular activities help you gain new perspective on life. Even an activity as small as a lunch hour walk can create healthy benefits.

2. They get physical.

Our bodies aren’t meant to sit all day and hunching over a computer all day long has no health benefits. According the Dr. James Levine, director of the Mayo Clinic, sitting is the new smoking.

Find a gym, buy a treadmill or form an in-home exercise routine. Find at least ten minutes every day to stretch or do some yoga. There are a lot of websites that offer low-cost monthly memberships for people who want to live a healthier life. The movement will strengthen your both your body and your mind.

3. They break routine.

Doing the same thing, day after day, can never stimulate the creative person that lurks inside each of us. Put yourself in a new environment, try a new skill or visit an intriguing destination. In order to maintain a fresh perspective and cultivate your curiosity, you must experience new things. You’ll not only expand your interests, you’ll become a more interesting person -- an appealing trait to those who want to move up the ladder.

4. They give back.

You’ll often find CEOs and company presidents among the volunteers or on the boards of various charitable organizations. If you want to rub elbows with community leaders, look for opportunities to help others. You’ll feel good about your contribution and gain popularity as a team player.

5. They stay curious.

The most interesting people consider ongoing learning essential to their lives. Whether through classroom-style or experiential learning, you’ll find the top achievers expanding their skills. Take an art class, learn to write or take up photography. You never know when that new skill will come into play at work, or become another revenue stream for you.

6. They cultivate friendships.

Leaders aren’t always found in the office. They’re out building relationships with others -- relationships that can help their respective businesses grow. And they don’t want shallow connections, they take the time to build deep bonds among those they admire and respect. Share a meal, invite a colleague to a business or charity event, or take the team to a cultural or sporting event. Each time you get together, you deepen the association.

7. They stay connected with family.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but real leaders make time for the people they love. Don’t be the person who can’t seem to find time to attend family events. Put family first!

8. They take time off.

Leaders know the value of time away, and use that time to unplug and unwind, reconnect and rejuvenate. Be sure to plan a significant chunk of time to get away from work, like a week or two at a time, and put yourself in a new environment to mix up your usual routine and keep life interesting.

You’ll never hear a leader described as a “couch potato.” To be more like a leader, get up, get out -- and get going.

10 Troubling Habits of Unhappy People

Happiness comes in so many different forms that it can be hard to define. Unhappiness, on the other hand, is easy to identify; you know it when you see it, and you definitely know when it’s taken ahold of you.

Unhappiness is lethal to everyone around you, just like second-hand smoke. The famous Terman Study from Stanford followed subjects for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people is linked to poorer health and a shorter life span.

Happiness has much less to do with life circumstances than you might think. A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only a smidge happier than the average Joes and Janes who work for them.

Life circumstances have little to do with happiness because much happiness is under your control—the product of your habits and your outlook on life. Psychologists from the University of California who study happiness found that genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50 percent of a person’s happiness. The rest is up to you.

Unhappy habits

When people are unhappy, it’s much more difficult to be around them, let alone work with them. Unhappiness drives people away, creating a vicious cycle that holds you back from achieving everything that you’re capable of.

Unhappiness can catch you by surprise. So much of your happiness is determined by your habits (in thought and deed) that you have to monitor them closely to make certain that they don’t drag you down into the abyss.

Some habits lead to unhappiness more than others do. You should be especially wary of the ten habits that follow as they are the worst offenders. Watch yourself carefully to make certain that these habits are not your own.

1. Waiting for the future. 

Telling yourself, “I’ll be happy when ...” is one of the easiest unhappy habits to fall into. How you end the statement doesn’t really matter (it might be a promotion, more pay, or a new relationship) because it puts too much emphasis on circumstances, and improved circumstances don’t lead to happiness. Don’t spend your time waiting for something that’s proven to have no effect on your mood. Instead focus on being happy right now, in the present moment, because there’s no guarantee of the future.

2. Spending too much time and effort acquiring 'things.' 

People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial circumstances improve, but it drops off quickly above $20,000 in annual income. There’s an ocean of research that shows that material things don’t make you happy. When you make a habit of chasing things, you are likely to become unhappy because, beyond the disappointment you experience once you get them, you discover that you’ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as friends, family, and hobbies.

3. Staying home. 

When you feel unhappy, it’s tempting to avoid other people. This is a huge mistake as socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but understand that the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood. Recognize when unhappiness is making you antisocial, force yourself to get out there and mingle, and you’ll notice the difference right away.

4. Seeing yourself as a victim. 

Unhappy people tend to operate from the default position that life is both hard and out of their control. In other words, “Life is out to get me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” The problem with that philosophy is that it fosters a feeling of helplessness, and people who feel helpless aren’t likely to take action to make things better. While everyone is certainly entitled to feel down every once in a while, it’s important to recognize when you’re letting this affect your outlook on life. You’re not the only person that bad things happen to, and you do have control over your future as long as you’re willing to take action.

Related: How Emotional Intelligence Can Boost Your Career -- And Save Your Life

5. Pessimism. 

Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a pessimistic attitude, beyond it being hard on your mood, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect bad things, you’re more likely to get bad things. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the facts, and you’ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.

6. Complaining. 

Complaining itself is troubling as well as the attitude that precedes it. Complaining is a self-reinforcing behavior. By constantly talking—and therefore thinking—about how bad things are, you reaffirm your negative beliefs. While talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, there’s a fine line between complaining being therapeutic and it fueling unhappiness. Beyond making you unhappy, complaining drives other people away.

7. Blowing things out of proportion. 

Bad things happen to everybody. The difference is that happy people see them for what they are—a temporary bummer—whereas unhappy people see anything negative as further evidence that life is out to get them. A happy person is upset if they have a fender bender on the way to work, but they keep things in perspective: “What a hassle, but at least it wasn’t more serious.” An unhappy person, on the other hand, uses it as proof that the day, the week, the month, maybe even their whole life, is doomed.

8. Sweeping problems under the rug. 

Happy people are accountable for their actions. When they make a mistake, they own it. Unhappy people, on the other hand, find problems and mistakes to be threatening, so they try to hide them. Problems tend to get bigger when they’re ignored. The more you don’t do anything about a problem, the more it starts to feel as though you can’t do anything about it, and then you’re right back to feeling like a victim.

9. Not improving. 

Because unhappy people are pessimists and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to happen to them. Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving themselves, they just keep plodding along, and then they wonder why things never change.

10. Trying to keep up with the Joneses. 

Jealousy and envy are incompatible with happiness, so if you’re constantly comparing yourself with others, it’s time to stop. In one study, most subjects said that they’d be okay with making less money, but only if everybody else did too. Be wary of this kind of thinking as it won’t make you happy and, more often than not, has the opposite effect.

Bringing it all together

Changing your habits in the name of greater happiness is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. But it’s also important for another reason—taking control of your happiness makes everyone around you happier too.

05 Habits You Should Steal From Other Entrepreneurs' Morning Routines

Your morning affects your entire day. What you do or don’t do each day will influence how productive you are, how energetic you feel, what you accomplish and, ultimately, how successful you are as an entrepreneur.

If you’re an entrepreneur with a satisfying and motivating morning routine, you’re in good company. If not, don’t despair; take some inspiration from the morning routines of fellow entrepreneurs.

1. Wake up early.

Many world-famous entrepreneurs that you follow on Twitter, read about in Entrepreneur and admire have one thing in common: They wake up early. When you wake up early, you have a greater sense of control over the day. For one thing, you get to decide what to do first, second and third.

By waking early, you also tend to have your greatest burst of energy, creativity and activity right from the start. This is the perfect time to slay some of the day’s bigger and brain-demanding tasks.

“Early” for you could be 9 a.m. or 10 a.m.. That’s okay. We all have our times of peak productivity.

2. Drink water.

It’s really simple. Just drink water.

Adding a chug of water to your morning routine does several important things: It boosts your metabolism, cleans things up, gives you a boost of energy, makes you fully alert and helps your digestive system run smoothly.

Kat Cole of FOCUS (Auntie Anne’s, Carvel and Cinnabon) is religious about her water routine. The first thing she does after hopping out of bed is to drink three cups of the stuff.

Coffee is the morning beverage of choice for most Americans. And certainly, caffeine is extraordinary. You can still have your coffee. But, first, have a drink of water.

3. Think about the most important things in your life.

Many entrepreneurs focus on their goals as the first order of the day. By keeping their goals at the forefront of their minds, they are more likely to work hard toward those goals throughout the day.

Consider Shark Tank investor Kevin O’Leary. He's a financial guy. So, the first thing he does after waking at 5:45 a.m. is to check the overseas bond markets. For O’Leary, the personal impact of those markets is enormous, and he wants to keep the information he gleans there present during his work day.

Entrepreneur contributor Matthew Toren, meanwhile, focuses on his 24-minute morning routine that begins with brushing his teeth and ends with stretching and meditation. Toren recommends looking at "key business initiatives for the day and how I might achieve them."

Steve Jobs was famous for this statement about his morning routine: "For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'no' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

Jobs' suggestion was, and is, a great way to begin the day: a focused assessment of your life’s direction. Each day, every day, you should have goals: big ones, little ones, life goals, whatever. Take a few minutes to think about these. If they are truly important, they deserve some of your mental energy each morning.

In that vein, Danny Halarewich, the entrepreneur behind LemonStand, does five things every morning: 1. Reads his life mission aloud; 2. Thinks about the importance of his life mission; 3. Reflects on the progress he’s made toward his life mission; 4. Considers several things he’s thankful for; and 5. Reviews his top goals for the day

A short burst of contemplation like Halarewich's can work wonders. You’ll enter your day focused, driven and committed to your goals. Even if you don’t know what your life mission is -- yet --contemplating your immediate goals and their significance will help you focus.

4. Get active.

Most of us are swivel chair-locked, meaning that we spend a lot of our day sitting down. That's why the morning is a great time to get in your daily workout. Your willpower is most potent in the morning, so you have a better chance of following through on your workout commitments.

Starting the day with a workout won’t deplete your energy. Instead, it will give you more energy, which will improve your focus, and help you to be more productive.

5. Meditate.

Meditation is a powerful way to prepare your mind for the day, helping you fight the stress that will invariably come at some point during the day.

Your particular meditation needn't take a long time. A simple three-to-10 minute meditation is perfect. Meditation isn’t complicated, either, and you don’t have to learn any mantras if you don’t want to. Meditation in its most basic form is simply breathing: free-flowing, deliberate and concentrated breathing.

Brad Lande, the entrepreneur behind Birchbox, has a five-step morning routine. (Meditation is the second step on the list.):

• Hot water with lemon
• Meditation
• Yoga
• Face oil
• Breakfast smoothie

When you incorporate meditation into your morning routine, you’ll unfailingly experience greater calm and focus during your day, no matter how hectic things get. You’ll soon realize why so many entrepreneurs practice meditation every morning. For instance, entrepreneur Taylor Pearson says that with meditation: "It helps you handle the endless choices that confront you, and focus on what’s truly important."

Final thoughts

As an entrepreneur, you owe it to yourself to be the best you can be for your goals and for your business. And your mornings play a huge role in your success. So, find a routine that leaves you feeling focused, committed and prepared for your day, rather than practicing multiple routines and forcing yourself into a mold that isn’t right for you.

When you do find the right fit, you'll experience a greater sense of general well-being and ease as you form these healthy habits.

10 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself Every Day

There are myriad psychology models and theories on what motivates us to do the things we do: how we respond to incentives, achievement theories, and so on.

I look at motivation as excitement. So how can you remain motivated in a simple way that works every single day? Here are 10 ways.

1. Take a break--you deserve it.

The only way we can perform at an optimal level is create time for rest. The moment you know you can't take any time off is usually when you need it most.

So take that long delayed vacation, and return to your business with renewed enthusiasm.

2. Keep your cards close to your chest.

Finally running that marathon? Excited about your new diet? Bursting at the seams over your new project? Good. Keep it to yourself.

Announcing your intent to do these feats will backfire. Resist the urge to reap the barrage of Facebook likes, and gushing comments. The positive feedback you receive from your network will trick your brain into thinking you've already accomplished your goal, sabotaging your once-motivated brain to do said feat.

So keep it to yourself and share the good news once you've already done it.

3. Confront death, and define your legacy.

Death is a powerful motivator. We get bogged down in mindless activities. They make us feel like we're accomplishing things, when in reality we're just spinning in circles.

Knowing that you have finite time on this planet helps sharpen your focus. Everything we do is another step in defining our legacy. This may seem like heady posturing, but both can be powerful motivators.

4. Celebrate the little wins, no matter how small.

Little wins may seem like just that--little.

Celebrating these wins can help to create positive habits. You break the inertia of mediocrity by teaching everyone around you how to win. They get the chance to bask in that emotion.

Vishen Lakhiani, CEO of Mindvalley, has gone so far as implementing what he calls the "awesome bell." Which he rings (you guessed it) anytime something awesome happens.

5. Slash your to-do list in half.

Slashing your aggressive to-do list in half will allow room for success. Knowing that it's realistic for you to complete the list is empowering.

6. Be gentle with yourself.  

Stop comparing the accomplishments in your life with those of your neighbor. The story you create in your head will never be as good, and the reality will never be as bad.

There are many people who are smarter than you. The moment you can embrace this notion, you're free. Free to explore. Free to follow what excites you. Free to ignore what they do, or how they do it, and focus on you.

7. Hack the way your brain perceives your new habits.

Recently, I began waking up two hours earlier than usual during the week. Instead of viewing it as two hours less I get to sleep, I view it as two extra hours to my day, allowing me to add a full workday per week. 

8. Embrace vulnerability.

We live in a culture where we horde Instagram followers, and Facebook likes. The perception of our lives being anything less than perfect is a daunting notion. The glossy Facebookification of our lives can create a dangerous facade of success.

Sharing defeats and admitting failure is a powerful cultivator of motivation, allowing you to move past the failure. Work through the emotion instead of taking it out on someone else. Then move on to something more constructive.

Sharing these vulnerable moments also cultivates deeper connection with peers. 

9. Do what you love (sort of).

Find what it is you love to do and get proficient at it. Success dwells at the fulcrum of passion and excellence.

But be careful. Make sure that you can make a living from your passion. I'm passionate about a lot of things that I know I'm not so amazing at and that I definitely can't make a living at. I love playing guitar. My daughter loves when I play songs from the movie Frozen. It's fun. I'm never going to be a rock star.

10. Focus.

There is a an anecdote I've heard about Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and Gates's father at a dinner party. A guest asked them what the most important quality for success was today and all three responded "Focus" at the same exact time. They all smiled and laughed to each other because they hadn't really prepared the answer.

We are all inundated with texts and emails. These are no longer just work interruptions. Because of the mini-computers we carry around in our pockets, the flood of information distracts us wherever we happen to be, 24/7.

So turn off your iPhone, stop trolling your ex-lover's Facebook page, and get to work.

14 Daily Habits of Successful and Likable Leaders

Leadership is about maximizing performance--not only your own, but that of the people who work with you. 

You do this best by focusing on people: respecting their boundaries, celebrating their talents, acknowledging their successes, and holding them accountable for their roles.

If any organization, business, venture, or team is going to succeed, it needs a leader who can demonstrate the way, go the way, and show the way.

Here are 14 ways you can make that happen:

1. Teach your people to fish. As the old motto says, don't give people a fish, teach them to catch their own. Empower people to fulfill their assigned roles, then watch them grow into their potential as happy, fulfilled, and loyal members of your team.

2. Keep expectations realistic. Be specific and realistic about expectations. Hold yourself to the same standard as others (or higher!) and show them how it's done. Demonstrate that underpromising and overdelivering are good for business.

3. Stay alert and keep people informed. People always want to know what's going on, especially during stressful times in your organization. More often than not, it's a simple desire for knowledge that leads to the dreaded (and destructive) rumor mill. But it's a problem you can solve easily just by keeping people informed, even if all you can say is, "I feel good about it, but we won't know anything until next week." People who are kept in the loop feel included and appreciated. 

4. Lend a helping hand. Be flexible when it comes to schedules and work assignments if it will help people balance their work and personal responsibilities better. Be willing to fill in where needed and carry your share of the less-than-desirable jobs and shifts. Spending time on the front lines gives you a valuable perspective and earns you respect that you won't get any other way.

5. Help build team members' self-esteem. More than what you say or do, people remember how you make them feel. Be quick to praise and give credit. Take every opportunity to put the spotlight on co-workers and employees.

6. Be specific with recognition. Talk about what was done and how the project contributed to the team and the organization. Rather than, "You did a great job," say, "Thank you for getting the project done two days early. The customer was very pleased, and frankly, so was I."

7. Focus on solutions. You can't always control problems, but you can control your reaction. Instead of focusing on what's wrong or whose fault it is, keep your attention on solutions (and later, when things settle down, prevention). If you can show people how to identify and positively respond to a problem, you empower them to solve things for themselves.

8. Build trust. Model trustworthiness through credibility, commitment, and competence; model trust by communicating with people honestly and with transparency. Creating a climate of trust will not only energize your entire organization, it will empower your leadership.

9. Don't shoot the messenger. Don't throw around your authority or blame others for problems. Be receptive to what people have to tell you--especially if it's bad news. Doing so creates open communication and a safe working culture.

10. Display patience. Maintaining the virtue of patience can be a challenge, especially when you're dealing with someone less knowledgeable. Think about a time when you were learning something new and how much you appreciated the patience of a teacher or coach.

11. Be accountable for your own leadership. Don't let minor obstacles become excuses for missing a deadline or sacrificing quality. Show people that you walk the talk and that you are serious about creating leadership in others--that your word is your word, and you expect the same level of accountability from them.

12. Expect a lot of yourself and others. People tend to live up to expectations. If you expect little, that is likely what you will get. On the other hand, expect a lot and you will usually be surprised at just how much can be accomplished.

13. Be clear and concise with your decisions. Start by knowing what you want the result to be. If others are involved, share the outcome. Don't keep people guessing--let them know about your decisions with speed and clarity.

14. Serve others. There is power in giving and helping people, in motivating them to reach their fullest potential. When you show the way by providing knowledge, guidance, tools, support, and inspiration, you make things happen not only for yourself but for everyone.

4 Things to Do This Weekend That Will Make Your Brain Work Better Next Week

What did you do last weekend? If the answer is same old, same old--or even worse, you spent the weekend working--then it's time to make sure this weekend is different. Your brain needs rest, stimulation, social connection, and a break from your work routine in order to function at its best. So if you want to be really productive next week, and to do the best, most creative work you can, how you spend your weekend makes a big difference.

Here are some things you should make sure to do:

1. Disconnect from work for at least 24 hours. 

Even if you can't take the entire weekend off (I pretty much never can), make sure to have at least one whole day with no work in it at all. This is advice I had trouble following myself when I first got it from Jason Selk a few years ago. But I stuck with it and now I take at least one full day off every weekend because I see how much difference it makes. Three weeks ago I couldn't--I had gotten very behind on a big project and I had no choice but to work through the whole weekend. I'm still feeling the resulting productivity loss. 

If you need to or want to spend some time during the weekend planning and preparing for the coming week, that's fine. One smart entrepreneur I know has an agreement with his family that he will not work between Friday evening and Sunday noon--but then he spends Sunday evening getting primed for the week ahead. But make sure to take at least a 24-break.

2. Rest and relax.

If you don't get enough sleep during the week (a very bad idea, by the way), make sure you get all the sleep you need during the weekend. Even when you're awake, take some of your time off to do something you find completely relaxing. For me that could be taking a restorative yoga class or sprawling on the sofa with a couple episodes of Downton Abbey. Make sure to do something that works just as well for you.

3. Take your family skiing.

Do I mean that literally? Not quite. But here's what I do mean: You need to spend time with people you care about, which could be your close friends, spouse, partner, or kids. You need to get exercise, you need to get outdoors, you need to do something you enjoy, and you need to do something that challenges you in some way. There's a broad range of activities that could combine all these needs; pick one that works for you. Extra points if it involves learning a new skill--a known brain booster.

4. Read.

I don't just mean the reading you have to do anyway for work. Read things that expand your mind, deliver new ideas, or let you see the world from a different point of view. You could read a romance for pleasure. The more you vary your reading, the better off you'll be.

If you're one of those people who hates to read (even though you're reading right now), then find another way to stimulate your brain with new information and new ideas. This could be watching a documentary or going out to a concert or talk. The point is that your brain needs the nourishment that only new material can provide.

Do these simple things, and you'll get back to work on Monday with a new level of energy and engagement. Which means your weekend will have been very well spent.

09 Skills to become an Exceptional Leader

Here are nine skills to sharpen if you want to be a successful leader:

1. Cultivate your self-awareness.
Self-knowledge is the beginning of self-improvement. Successful leaders don't only run an organization--they also lead people. It's paramount that you know yourself well, because when you know yourself, you are empowered; when you accept yourself, you are invincible.

2. Develop the right mindset.
Develop your mindset. Start each day with a decision to be happy. Embrace the positives and let go of all the frustrations and past failures that can distract you. When you master your mindset, you free yourself to achieve the level of success you are capable of, because as Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right."

3. Capitalize on your confidence.
Successful leaders capitalize on their confidence when difficulties arise. Don't allow your insecurities to get the best of you. Remember that your confidence is like a muscle--the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

4. Continue to learn.  
Try to learn something new every day. Read newspapers, books, magazines, and online. Search for what is innovative and creative, and try to intersect what is new to what you are already doing. The most skillful leaders never stop being a student.

5. Teach to grow.
Don't hoard your knowledge but share it: with your team, with your colleagues, with your clients. The more you teach as a leader, the more you grow. When you learn, teach; when you get, give.

6. You are the results of your experiences.
One of the hardest things to do is to learn from your mistakes, but even the most successful leaders have made mistakes they don't want to repeat. Document your experiences and ask yourself what you could do better next time. Reference back often so you don't repeat patterns. You can learn something from everything you do, good or bad. The only source of knowledge is experience.

7. Success is a series of small wins.
It can be hard to build momentum, so start with small wins. The best way to have a sustainable successful year is to secure small wins, because small wins, small differences, often make a huge difference.8. Action speaks louder than words. 

To be a successful leader, you have to be out there--you have to hit the ground running, taking action, taking risks. If not, you will find yourself growing stagnant and stale. If you wait until you are ready, you may be waiting for the rest of your career.

9. Find the balance.
Last, but definitely not least, learn to take care of yourself. Keep a balance. Eat healthy foods and exercise each day, even if it's just a brisk walk. Make time for the people and things you love outside of work.

You can make this your year, but it takes skillful leadership to make it happen. It all starts with you--with knowing yourself, learning daily, and sharing that knowledge with others. Then when the difficult days come, and they will, you will be prepared. 

6 Things Great Leaders Do Differently

Great leadership can be a difficult thing to pin down and understand. You know a great leader when you're working for one, but even they can have a hard time articulating what it is that makes their leadership so effective.

It was recently rumored that Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz would run for president, but Schultz shut the idea down almost immediately. He wrote in an article:

"Despite the encouragement of others, I have no intention of entering the presidential fray. I'm not done serving at Starbucks."

Schultz commitment to his company over the temptation of the limelight is interesting. What's admirable is his desire to be a leader who serves.

Service isn't just something Schulz gives lip service to in the press; his mission is to create a company where people are treated with respect and dignity, and he backs this rhetoric up with his money and time. Starbucks will spend $250 million over the next 10 years to put benefit-eligible employees through college, and Schultz wakes up every day at 4:00 a.m. to send motivational e-mails to his employees (the email he wrote yesterday asking employees to show empathy for customers who have been affected by the plummeting stock market is an interesting, recent example of this).

It's through a leader's actions--what he or she does and says on a daily basis--that the essence of great leadership becomes apparent.

"Dream more than others think practical. Expect more than others think possible. Care more than others think wise." -Howard Schultz

Behavior can change, and leaders who work to improve their skills get results.

In Schultz's case, he's been honing his leadership craft for three decades through, among other things, the direct coaching and mentoring of leadership expert Warren Bennis at USC.

Not everyone can take on Warren Bennis as a mentor, of course, but when it comes down to it, improving your leadership skills is within your control. You just need to study what great leaders do and to incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

There are six critical things that great leaders do that really stand out. Any of us can do the same.

1. They're kind without being weak

One of the toughest things for leaders to master is kindness. Kindness shares credit and offers enthusiastic praise for others' work. It's a balancing act, between being genuinely kind and not looking weak. The key to finding that balance is to recognize that true kindness is inherently strong--it's direct and straightforward. Telling people the difficult truth they need to hear is much kinder than protecting them (or yourself) from a difficult conversation. This is weak.

True kindness also doesn't come with expectations. Kindness is weak when you use it in a self-serving manner. Self-serving kindness is thin--people can see right through it when a kind leader has an agenda. Think of Schultz, who dedicated $250 million to employee education with no strings attached, and as soon as employees finish their degree, they are free to walk out the door. That's true kindness.

2. They're strong without being harsh

Strength is an important quality in a leader. People will wait to see if a leader is strong before they decide to follow his or her lead or not. People need courage in their leaders. They need someone who can make difficult decisions and watch over the good of the group. They need a leader who will stay the course when things get tough. People are far more likely to show strength themselves when their leader does the same.

A lot of leaders mistake domineering, controlling, and otherwise harsh behavior for strength. They think that taking control and pushing people around will somehow inspire a loyal following. Strength isn't something you can force on people; it's something you earn by demonstrating it time and again in the face of adversity. Only then will people trust that they should follow you.

3. They're confident, without being cocky

We gravitate to confident leaders because confidence is contagious, and it helps us to believe that there are great things in store. The trick, as a leader, is to make certain your confidence doesn't slip into arrogance and cockiness. Confidence is about passion and belief in your ability to make things happen, but when your confidence loses touch with reality, you begin to think you can do things you can't and have done things you haven't. Suddenly it's all about you. This arrogance makes you lose credibility.

Great, confident leaders are still humble. They don't allow their accomplishments and position of authority to make them feel that they're better than anyone else. As such, they don't hesitate to jump in and do the dirty work when needed, and they don't ask their followers to do anything they aren't willing to do themselves.

4. They stay positive, but remain realistic

Another major challenge that leaders face is finding the balance between keeping things positive and still being realistic. Think of a sailboat with three people aboard: a pessimist, an optimist, and a great leader. Everything is going smoothly until the wind suddenly sours. The pessimist throws his hands up and complains about the wind; the optimist sits back, saying that things will improve; but the great leaders says, "We can do this!" and he adjusts the sails and keeps the ship moving forward. The right combination of positivity and realism is what keeps things moving forward.

5. They're role models, not preachers

Great leaders inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that integrity is important to them, but great leaders walk their talk by demonstrating integrity every day. Harping on people all day long about the behavior you want to see has a tiny fraction of the impact you achieve by demonstrating that behavior yourself.

6. They're willing to take a bullet for their people

The best leaders will do anything for their teams, and they have their people's backs no matter what. They don't try to shift blame, and they don't avoid shame when they fail. They're never afraid to say, "The buck stops here," and they earn people's trust by backing them up. Great leaders also make it clear that they welcome challenges, criticism, and viewpoints other than their own. They know that an environment where people are afraid to speak up, offer insights, and ask good questions is destined for failure.

5 Simple Hacks to Sharpen Your Emotional Intelligence

We spend an awful lot of time in school throughout our lifetimes, diligently studying and cramming and writing exams, all in the quest to be more intelligent human beings.

How how much time do you spend on your emotional intelligence?

If you're like the average human being, the answer is probably: "Um, not much."

That's too bad, because according to researchers from Rutgers, there are 19 different ways emotional intelligence contributes to the bottom line in any work organization. Emotional intelligence guides our ability to deal with others; to understand their emotions, as well as our own.

This is incredibly important in industries like marketing, where a customer's emotional reaction to an ad or display could mean the difference between their making a purchase and walking away. But emotional intelligence affects all aspects of our professional lives, from our ability to sell, to our networking prowess, to the way we climb the career ladder (or don't).

As leadership expert Gordon Tredgold wrote recently for Huffington Post, "We get promoted because of our IQ and we get fired because of our lack of EQ."

Check out these 7 super simple hacks that will help you sharpen your emotional intelligence and enjoy all of the benefits that affords:

1. Stay Cool.

Italian researchers found that changes in body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure are great indicators of stress, which can affect how we deal with problematic situations. Before you lose your cool, take a walk outside to get some fresh air, or have a washroom break and splash cold water on your face. Don't succumb that easily to the stressors.

2. Walk a Mile in Their Shoes.

People can be a huge source of stress. Think about it: what drives your negative emotional reactions? Too often, it's the opinions, judgments, requests and demands of others. When a coworker, superior, investor or even competitor gets under your skin, try to look at the situation from their perspective. Examine it from all angles. Is it possible you're reading into the situation, or that their intent might be different from your understanding of it? Take a step back and think on their possible motivations before reacting.

3. Have a Plan B. And a Plan C.

Psychology Today defines emotional intelligence as: "the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others." How well can you manage your emotions if you're never prepared for what's next? Being reactionary is a sure-fire recipe for emotional reactions. Instead, start projecting potential outcomes each time you make a decision, even if some seem like a stretch. Imagine how you'll react to each one, so you're not completely caught off guard. You'll eventually find that even if the outcome isn't one you predicted, you're better able to handle each one and think on the fly!

4. Be Definitive.

Challenging your own bad habits is key is developing your emotional intelligence. Do you tend to use passive language to hedge your bets and protect yourself? (The form was completed by... New policies were introduced... etc.) Passive language is inherently weak, whether in writing or verbal; in fact, passive voice literally means telling the story of what's happened to you. Do things happen to you, or are you a force who makes things happen? To showcase emotional intelligence, focus on highlighting the actions already taken. I completed the form. Our company introduced new policies. Take ownership and show customers, stakeholders and the world your emotional intelligence.

5. Practice your emotional intelligence on others.

One critical aspect of emotional intelligence, as defined by Psychology Today, is your ability to influence the emotions of others. When a colleague comes to you in a stressed out, panicked state, are you calming, or are they more aggravated when you're through? Whether in close personal relationship, professional relationships, or in interactions with strangers, how you deal with and influence others says a great deal about your emotional intelligence. Strive to leave each person you interact with in a better state than when you met them.

9 Communication Habits That All Successful Leaders Have

The way you communicate as a leader is important. The right tone, the right voice, the right body language--these elements are as important as the words you say, sometimes more.

Having a leader who understands the principles of great communication can make the difference between a collaborative team and one that goes in circles.

If we can get our communication right, we can build strong teams, be persuasive with clients and generally accelerate our business.

Here are some principles to remember.

1. Customize your communication.

Consistency is important, but that doesn't mean you should speak the same way to everyone. Customize your messages in light of what you know about the listener. Some people like details, some like the big picture, and some people want to hear only about the bottom line. Pay attention to their cues and tailor your communication accordingly.

2. Actively listen.

Good listening is among the most important, and overlooked, principles of great communication. Don't zone out when someone else is speaking, and make sure that your own body language indicates your interest. Maintain eye contact and respond with small gestures that show you are listening and receiving the message. If you have any doubts about what you're hearing, try paraphrasing or repeating back what you have heard.

3. Let others finish.

If you're anxiously waiting for an opening so you can jump and speak, you are not really listening. Train yourself not to think about interrupting other speakers but instead to make sure they have had their say before you begin speaking.

4. Ask simple questions.

You learn the most when you keep your questions simple and open-ended. Why, what, when, where, and how are still the gold standard. If you ask the right questions you will always find the right answers.

5. Be polite.

Don't check your phone or look at your watch when someone else is speaking. Give the respect of your undivided attention.  

6. Use the power of "I" statements.

Communication becomes more productive when you avoid stating your thoughts as facts. For example, instead of saying, "This project is a failure," you might say, "I am very concerned about the sustainability of this project." Try to avoid "you" statements ("You haven't done anything") that set up a cycle of judgment and defensiveness. Instead, say, "I can see there's still a lot to be done."  

7. Pay attention to what your body's saying.

Some researchers find that body language makes up more than half of what you're communicating. Is your posture open and confident, or closed off?

8. Watch your tone.

Make sure your tone matches what you're saying if you want your message to be clear.

9. Avoid sarcasm.

It has a high failure rate--and even when it works, it mostly serves to build walls and destroy strong connections.

There are few things you can do that will benefit your leadership and organization more than working to improve your communication skills.

Make sure you and those on your team communicate clearly and with purpose, and your odds of success grow astronomically.

10 Phrases Leaders With High Moral Character Always Use

Leaders with character tend to be more successful. Why is that?

In my experience, it's because we tend to trust people who are trustworthy, who exhibit traits we want to model, and who have an interest in topics beyond basic financial results. We are drawn to people who are honest, have integrity, and won't make any compromises. On the flip side of that, we won't follow someone who is corrupt for long. We see right through the sham.

To help you figure out whether a leader has moral character, or to test yourself and see if you have what it takes to lead, listen for these key phrases.

1. "Because I said I would ..."

This is an important phrase. When a leader makes a promise and then follows through on the promise, it's a sign of good character. It means he or she is not just making empty-headed comments with no intention of doing anything about the issue.

2. "Let me get back to you on that ..."

Leaders with character don't give you cheap answers. If they don't know the right response, a good leader will look into the issue and spend the time tracking down the right solution. It's all about the pursuit of excellence and truth, not just salivating the underlings.

3. "There's a reason for that ..."

Having character as a leader means explaining the reasons. Why is that? Because character is always about a pursuit of truth. There isn't always a perfectly clear answer (that's why the pursuit of truth is a journey and not always a resting place) but there are reasons. Explaining them is a sign of character.

4. "I don't understand ..."

Similar to the pursuit of truth, good leaders also pursue understanding. Someone without good moral character might just pretend to understand as a way to move on. There's a curiosity to good leadership, and having character that says, "I want to understand the right answer ... always."

5. "Yes ..."

Leaders with a moral center tend to give you a yes or no answer. They don't quibble or delay beyond what's reasonable. When there is a decision to be made and they have done their research, they don't say "maybe" and leave you hanging.

6. "Let me explain ..."

Part of the pursuit of truth in leadership is a desire to explain complex subjects. There has to be an interest in the welfare of others and not just a personal agenda. When you explain and educate, you show you want to do more than just dictate.

7. "There is no easy answer ..."

Being able to admit when you don't have all of the answers is a sign of character. People without character pretend to have the solution, but eventually we figure out that it's a ruse. Lack of character and pretending go hand in hand.

8. "That's a great idea ..."

Honest leaders won't ever steal an idea and make it their own. They recognize when someone on the team comes up with something worthwhile and gives due credit.

9. "I will follow up with you ..."

Follow-up is key. It shows you will look for the answer, but it also shows you care about the person enough and will take the time to find a solution. People without character don't care. They let things trail off without reaching a resolution.

10. "I'm sorry ..."

Great leaders know how to apologize. It is part of their DNA. If they make a mistake, instead of pretending it's not a big deal or casting blame, they own up to the mistake.

10 Ways to Become a More Confident Person

Confidence is not something everyone is born with. Most of us have to work at it. 

One of the fastest ways to grow your confidence is by starting with small changes, and practicing them every day. These essential tasks are valuable for anyone of any age, at any stage of professional or personal life.

Here are 10 ways to become a more confident person, which will help you achieve your goals. 

1. Take stock

Write down or type everything you are good at. Be sure to list any item you can think of, even if it does not apply to your current job. For example, you may make the best chicken soup known to mankind. Write it down.

Do you keep a clean house? Put it on the list. Are you great at memorizing every single song you hear on the radio? Yep, it goes on the list. Read over your list. Never take your skills for granted. Take pride in what you do well, and do not be afraid to share those things with others.

Make the soup, and take it to work. 

2. Learn how to accept praise

It is OK to receive a compliment. No matter how large or how small the compliment is, say thank you.

Do not brush praise off. Accept it, own it, and realize that you are worthy of the compliment. This is tough, especially after years of not accepting. With practice, form a new habit of thankfully, and gracefully, acknowledging your admirers.

3. Read. Read. Then go read some more

Nothing inspires others or instills confidence in oneself more than knowledge. You do not have to know everything about everything, but having a wide base of awareness of the world around you is a boost to your self-worth.

If you feel unsure of yourself in political discussions, brush up on the latest debates. Not sure what a first down is? Read up on football. Read about art, fashion, entertainment, the Middle East. Search blogs, magazines, and more. Learn about the latest music trends. Study up on the latest movie reviews.The ongoing process of learning will make you a well-rounded, more confident person.

4. Try new things

How does trying new things build confidence? It doesn't. The decision to try that new thing and follow through with it does. Challenge yourself to try something new at least once a month. For you extreme confidence builders, make it once a week.

Try a new restaurant. Sign up for an art class. Take up freelance writing. Volunteer at a local food bank.This is truly a life-changing exercise. Even if a particular endeavor doesn't work out, you had the courage and confidence to do it.

5. Get healthy

Living a healthy lifestyle has an everlasting impact on your confidence. This is not about how you look, although yes, that does help your self-esteem. It is about feeling good, making the right choices, and being confident in your life.

Drink more water. Stop eating junk food. Start walking. Join a gym. Restock your pantry and refrigerator with only your favorite healthy fruits and vegetables. You do not have to become a fitness guru to benefit from the confidence-boosting effects of a healthy lifestyle.

6. Surround yourself with support

Is there a life sucker in your world? You know, that one negative friend or family member that brings you down just by being around him or her?

Distance yourself from such a person. Surround yourself with those who make you feel good about yourself. Yes, this is hard. It will be the hardest thing on this list to accomplish.

Don't know people that make you feel good? Find them. (See No. 4.) No matter how much faith you have in yourself, the friend that isn't really your friend will destroy that confidence. Move on from that chapter in your life, and make a new, confident future for yourself.

7. Dance

Seriously, just dance, even if you do not know how. Turn the music up, and let it go. In your living room or in your bedroom, even in the middle of the, gasp, grocery store.

You can take this literally or figuratively. The goal is to be yourself. Always. Do not be afraid to let your personality shine. Be confident in who you are, and let the world around you see that person.

8. Jazz up your wardrobe

Do you have a closet full of T-shirts and jeans? Is everything in your closet the same color of black?

Try a couple of new clothing items to go with what you already have. For those on a budget, this only takes a few good, quality items.

A new sport coat, a brightly colored top that looks good on you, even a new tie or statement necklace will change the way you see yourself.

If you aren't sure what looks good on you, ask a friend or a co-worker to help you out. There is no shame in being fashion backward. Simple changes in your outward appearance not only make you feel better about yourself, but they also change the way others perceive you.

9. Ask for extra work

What?? Yes, request extra work. This will challenge you to do your best. Completing this work will build your confidence in your abilities. Your supervisors will notice your initiative and reward it.

This will also build your courage. Often, extra work exposes you to people in your company you haven't worked with before.Remember, when praised, accept it gracefully.

10. Appreciate others

As your confidence grows, help others grow their self-esteem. Helping others feel great will have the same effect on you.

If a co-worker turns in a great project, tell him or her and mean it. Do you have a friend that always does kind things for you? Thank the person.

Is your family always there for you? Tell them how much you appreciate their support, and return that support.

Be genuine, be honest, and people will recognize your sincerity.

09 Things Moms Say That Can Make You Really Successful in Business

It often sounds like the smart things moms say to their kids all the time. Here are 9  key examples:

1.              "Be yourself."

Entrepreneurs see the world differently from other people. Bernard and Carbonell understood that. But they said they learned in their first six months "about going all in on who we are, even if it meant being a bit polarizing."

Carbonell told me: "Our initial instinct was to play it a bit safe and not alienate anyone, so we avoided provocative statements about what we believe in and why we started the business. We quickly learned that the opposite was much more effective at attracting like-minded people who really dug our concept."

2.              "Don't let it bother you."

If you try to start a business (never mind change the world), be prepared to hear the word "no" a lot of the time. You face a ton of rejection and naysayers.

"Is it hard to be a woman starting a company? What's it like to be a mom entrepreneur? It's hard to be an entrepreneur, period," Bernard said. "You have to have a thick skin. We laugh at the occasional misguided question we get -- things like, "Are you sure you want to start a company when you have little kids?" or, "Are your husbands funding you?" (For the record, no.)

3.              "Play nice."

Don't confuse this with being a pushover--it's just that it's often more effective to build relationships than it is to steamroll people to get things done.

"It's so interesting to us that some people think you have to be an ass to be effective," Carbonell said. "It's just about having empathy--being able to read the nuances of a situation or a person's feelings, and finding the best way to communicate. You can disagree. You can be direct. You just don't have to be a jerk about it."

4.              "Don't be afraid to depend on people."

There is virtually no such thing as a successful one-person show--especially in business.

"Succeeding in business is about building an awesome team more than it is about having a good idea.  We've hired people who have turned out to be amazing superstars well beyond their experience," Bernard said. "We also feel strongly about having a partner you've worked with before. We worked together at Quidsi for years and knew we could trust and rely on each other through all the ups and downs - and still want to have a beer together at the end of the day."

5.              "Choose your friends carefully."

At the same time, don't depend on people who aren't dependable. Sometimes, that means making do with a smaller team until you find the right people.

"It takes patience. For instance, growing our tech team didn't happen as quickly as planned" during 2015, Carbonell said. "But from past experience, we know it's worth it to be patient and hold out for the right people--the right talent, but even more importantly the right culture fit. Passion and optimism are critical things for us."

6.              "Don't give up!"

Just before their first major photo shoot last year, highlighting their products for their website, the New York City area was hit by a major snowstorm. They were relying on friends and family to help them, but traveling was almost impossible--and their photographer, who was from Los Angeles, was running out of time.

"We had to drive in the snow to the UPS center to pick up the last 10 styles, and then beg the photographer to jam through what felt like one million photos on the last day. And thanks to Taylor Swift on repeat and a LOT of Sour Patch Kids, we managed to keep the kids smiling until the end of the day!" Bernard told me.

7.              "Work hard."

There's no such thing as "not my job" in a startup. Whether you need someone to learn digital marketing, hook up a phone system, or clean up the glasses from last night's office happy hour, if it needs to be done, the founders have to do it.

"We're a small team, and our day-to-day is filled with roll-up-your-sleeves work, down to the smallest details like setting up the furniture, managing our inventory, and executing our marketing," Carbonell said. "We joke about our 'departments' as in "My marketing department thinks X" which just means I think that.  If you're not scrappy, or think you're above certain work, a startup probably isn't for you."

8.              "Nobody's perfect. Do your best."

There's no such thing as perfect--but that's okay, because in a startup things don't actually have to be perfect. The important thing is to focus on constantly improving.

"A disappointed customer is the hardest thing. We put a huge emphasis on great customer service, and we keep working hard to improve all the time. We listen very carefully to feedback from our customers. We have about 642 happiest moments though--and every one of them is a note we got from a customer who had a great experience with us," Bernard said.

9.              "Kick ass."

Kicking ass means focusing on what you do and doing that thing very well--not letting up, and not veering off into a million other interesting things that might also be really cool. This might be the most important lesson for succeeding in business, Carbonell told me.

"Primary offers a line of basic clothing for babies and kids in the U.S.," she said. That's a big enough challenge. "At least for the moment, we're not going international. We're not going into other categories. We're not publishing a book we have a really good concept for. ... For the moment, we are just going to try to be the very best place for busy parents to shop for awesome basic clothing for babies and kids."

7 Smart Ways to Protect Your Startup When the Market Gets Rough

2016 has started off with a major stock market meltdown. The S&P 500 Information Technology Index--that includes companies like Apple and Facebook--is down 15% from its recent high.

And that drop in stocks is making capital providers very nervous. A case in point is the data storage industry -- many venture-backed startups there are being told to cut their burn rate and find a path to profitability.

And that could make things more difficult for your business -- especially if it need outside capital to keep going.

Here are seven ways to protect your business when the market gets rocky.

1. Don't panic

The first thing you should do as a leader is vent your fears away from your employees and then ask yourself some questions. Where are our profits coming from? Which customers are buying the most from us and why? How can we invest so those customers and others like them will keep buying or buy more?

If you have solid answers to these questions, you will be in a great position to think about which parts of your company must be protected and which parts you should sever in order to extend its survival.

One company used the capital freeze to swap less productive sales people for ones who generated more revenues and to expand into a country where demand growth was highest.

2. Monitor your cash burn rate

It's worth mentioning that when capital is not heading your way soon, you need to keep a much tighter control of your cash burn rate.

To do that, add up all the cash you have in your company's bank and short-term money market accounts and divide that amount by how much cash goes out of your accounts each month.

This ratio will give you the number of months' worth of cash remaining before you have to shut down.

And once you see that number, you will probably need to get working on ways to lower your burn rate.

3. Manage out the people who are not producing your profits

Start the process of reducing your burn rate by examining the monthly pay of your employees. If you know who is producing your profits, the other employees are candidates to be managed out of the company.

Before you do that, consider how you will have to change the way your company works once those individuals are off the payroll.

If you can make the company run more effectively without those people while lowering its burn rate significantly, then you should manage them out.

4. Tell your banker about your cash collections

If your company borrowed from a bank, you ought to update your banker about how things are changing with your company's cash flow.

The moves you take to lower your monthly burn rate should boost the odds that you will be able to make your principal and interest payments.

And you should give your banker a best-efforts forecast of how your cash flows are likely to evolve over the next year or two in light of your estimates of cash collections from customers and payouts to your employees and suppliers.

By taking the initiative to communicate with your bankers, you can avoid any surprises that might make your banker nervous.

5. Give your customers a reason to pay their bills faster

Another thing you ought to do to improve your company's cash flow is to ask your customers to pay their bills more quickly.

OF course, asking nicely might be unproductive. In that case, you could consider offering them a discount if they agree to pay their bills in 15 days instead of the customary 30 days.

Just make sure that the discount is not so big that it costs more than the benefit of collecting your cash more quickly.

6. Ask your suppliers if they'd accept later payment

Conversely, you ought to explore whether your suppliers might be willing to extend the time you have to pay your bills.

This could be a harder sell -- but if you have some suppliers that are particularly dependent on your company for their business, you may be able to convince them to extend your payment terms from say 30 to 40 days.

7. Delay employee bonuses

If you've exhausted these other possibilities and you still lack a comfortable cash cushion, explain the situation to the employees who are bringing in your profits.

Tell them that you value their contribution and you need them more than ever. Then ask them if they would be willing to help the company survive the venture capital winter by waiting a few months for their bonus.

If you have fulfilled your commitments to employees, suppliers, and customers up until this crunch point, they will more than likely help your company survive when the market gets rocky.

15 Executives Share the Best Advice Their Mentors Ever Gave Them

Anyone who's serious about getting ahead in business knows the value of a mentor. Not only can this person be a sounding board and treasure trove of advice, he or she can act as your advocate and a catalyst for your career goals. I checked in with more than a dozen top executives who credit their mentors with helping them achieve great things. Here's the advice they remember most.

1. If you're going to be in the room, be useful.

"It was advice my first boss gave me after he invited me to join a big client pitch, and I sat in silence taking notes the entire time thinking that was my place. It's advice I took to heart from that day on, and it's been incredibly important while building a startup where things only happen if you make them happen."

--Chris Toy, CEO and founder of Bindle, the mobile app bringing people together with shareable chats

2.  Keep moving forward with eyes on your goal.

"My mentor says it's vital to communicate, communicate, communicate. Make sure everyone is on the same page while achieving your goals. This was especially useful while Memora was building its first 360-degree camera with a multicultural team, spread across multiple time zones."

--Ju-Chun Ko, one of the founders of Memora, which makes the Luna 360, the first consumer-ready, VR-optimized 360-degree camera

3. Make something people want.

"My co-founders and I were some of the first to be accepted into Y Combinator back in 2006. We applied at the strike of midnight on the night before, and the experience not only led to getting Weebly where it is today, but I received the best advice from the mantra they continued to drill into us as we shaped our product: 'Make something people want.' We still strive to do that with every upgrade, product release, and new feature that we create here at Weebly."

--David Rusenko, founder and CEO of the website-building platform Weebly

4. Take care of number one.

"Wendy Lea, CEO at Cintrifuse, told me to never forget I'm responsible for running a company, and that it's important to take care of yourself first as CEO, and then focus on customers."

--Konrad Billetz, founder and CEO of interchangeable prescription eyewear maker Frameri

5. Attract positivity and take action.

"Every time we talk about an issue or consider a plan, my mentor wants me to focus on the positive aspects of the issue or outcome and then proceed to take action. Committing to your work with positive thoughts, your passion will shine through, ultimately leading to positive outcomes."

--Michael Dweck, founder and CEO of men's innerwear and loungewear company Basic/Outfitters

6. The key to happiness is balance.

"An important piece of advice I received from one of my mentors, Richard Branson, was, 'The key to happiness is all about balance--a combination between fun and loving life in all forms, while being successful at the same time.'"

--Constantin Bisanz, founder and CEO of health and wellness brand Aloha

7. Always think about how to craft your story.

"My mentor believes in pitching your company and selling yourself. Make sure to tell a story that people are interested in and one that conveys your personality and passion."

--Emily Motayed, co-founder of online interior design platform Havenly

8. Find a job you love.

"The best advice I ever received was from my dad, my biggest mentor in life. Starting when I was young, he always quoted Confucius and told me, "Choose a job you love, and you never have to work a day in your life" and that "the greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

--Daniel Silberman, founder and CEO of a high-end eyewear expert and luxury goods brand, Illesteva

9. Have an incredibly solid mentor network.

"My mentor identified the toll that the isolation and frustration of the CEO role can have on anyone trying to build a business. He helped me understand the immeasurable value that a solid group of mentors that have been through the same struggles can have for an entrepreneur. He was 100 percent correct, and the continued value that my mentors have as I struggle to build PivotDesk is, without question, immeasurable."

--David Mandell, co-founder and CEO of flexible office space solution PivotDesk

10. Smile; breathe; don't quit.

"This was my mentor's best advice, plain and simple."
--Jean Brownhill Lauer, co-founder and CEO of Sweeten, a renovation matchmaker between consumers and general contractors

11. Your success is defined by what you say no to.

"The best advice I ever got was from an ex-Harvard Business School professor and best-selling business author, David Maister, who was a client of mine for a number of years. He told me that your career and success would be defined by what you said no to, not what you said yes to. This was very counterintuitive to me as a young entrepreneur, but it's wisdom that has really proved true through the years."

--Justin Evans, co-founder and chief creative officer of cloud-based audio postproduction software platform Landr

13. Take short-term discomfort for long-term gain.

"Some people find success overnight, but you should never assume that's how it will work out for you. As a PR guy, I'm acutely aware usually there is a long backstory of hard work and failures behind every 'overnight success.' I really value this advice, and when life as an entrepreneur gets hard, it's always comforting to remember."

--Elliot Tomaeno, founder and CEO of PR agency Astrsk

14. This too shall pass.

"This applies in business and more broadly in life. It is a reminder to keep in mind that when everything seems to be going your way, we need always to be prepared for adversity, and similarly when challenges and setbacks seem to arise every day that there will inevitably be better times around the bend provided we persist."

--Colin Darretta, founder and CEO of customized nutritional supplement service WellPath Solutions

15. Learn something from everyone you meet.

"Something Brian Chesky, CEO of Airbnb, told me years back was the importance of continuous learning. Everyone is superior to you in some way. There is always something that can be learned from each person you speak with. Humility is more than niceties; it's a pathway to perpetually learning from any experience."

--Healey Cypher, co-founder and CEO of Oak Labs, maker of the interactive fitting room currently being piloted at Polo Ralph Lauren

6 Mantras That Will Set You Apart as a Genuine Leader

At the beginning of an enterprise, you may be looking to others to set an example you can follow--which is normal human behavior in any new situation. And there will be a lot you can learn from those who have come before you.

But none of them has ever been in your exact situation, and none of them brings your unique combination of skills, experience, ideas, and values.

Your real value as a leader will come when you begin to build on those traits and define the things that will set you apart from the rest. 

Here are some thoughts to help launch you toward your own leadership league:

1. If you are your authentic self, you have no competition. If you are to be truly successful, your leadership must be grounded in self-awareness and authenticity. That means knowing and working with your strengths and your limits. When you lead from authenticity, you free yourself from the need for external approval--you can be who you are, not what others want to see.

2. Greatness is not where you stand, but in what direction you are moving. Strategic planning--the process of translating vision into realistic business strategies--provides you with a structure to balance long-term goals with immediate needs, update plans to reflect changing circumstances, and develop contingency plans for the wider range of possibilities. Your strategic plan is worthless unless you have a strategic vision. The two go hand in hand: Each is useless without the other.

3. If you focus on results, you will never change; if you focus on change, you will get results. From the very beginning, organizations need the capacity to grow and adapt. A positive view of change and the flexibility to adapt gives you the ability to weather what comes--and maybe even to influence it. As we know, change is inevitable, but turning it into progress requires preparation.

4. You don't build a business; you build relationships. Unless you are a one-person shop, you will be working with others. Those relationships form the core of your enterprise, and for them to be successful you need to be prepared to coach, guide, encourage, and reward those who are working with you--not just in their work but in their own growth and development.

5. Leadership is not wielding authority; it's empowering others. The best leaders keep their staff motivated and connected to the central mission. They delegate to employees effectively, provide opportunity, and act with fairness to create a culture of empowerment.

6. Commitment is what transforms words into reality. Your commitment to the purpose of your enterprise, as you express it and transmit it to those around you, is what leads to the creation of something new, something of value, in the world. It's not an easy goal, but it's definitely one worth working toward.

05 Biggest Tech Change Coming in the Next 5 Years

If you want to know the future, you can pay a few bucks to get your friendly local psychic to gaze into her crystal ball, but you'd probably do a lot better to ask a venture capitalist.

After all, it's the job of the country's top investors to be one step ahead of the rest of us in seeing where technology and business are headed. Their payouts depend on it. Plus, they're usually some pretty smart folks.

Which is what makes a little teaser video put together by Upfront Ventures for last week's Upfront Summit--an invite-only gathering of the country's top investors--so fascinating. Just a few minutes long, it packs in a lot of insight as some of the country's most respected VCs offer their predictions for the biggest change coming to the tech industry in the next five years. Here's a preview:

1. Global talent explodes

"The explosion of global talent. The number of people around the world who are able to start companies and contribute to startup is just exploding. And I think that's going to have a dramatic impact on technology," said Marc Andreessen of Andreessen Horowitz.

2. Sensors, sensors everywhere

"The proliferation of sensors that are throwing off huge amounts of data that we'll now build applications and services off of," is the next big thing, according to Ted Schlein of Kleiner Perkins.

3. Here come the bots

Josh Kopelman of First Round Capital predicts that "messaging apps and bots represent a really powerful opportunity for communication and potentially a new platform for consumer interaction."

4. Virtual reality ... finally

"I know that it's becoming cliché," concedes Mark Suster of Upfront Ventures (which organizes the Summit), "but I actually think virtual reality is going to have an even more profound impact on society, how we organize ourselves, how we communicate, even modes of transportation. I think virtual reality is going to impact things more than any of us can predict."

5. A.I. that actually works

What was the answer of Fred Wilson of Union Square Ventures? Artificial intelligence. "Because we've finally reached the point where it's working and working really well. It's going to really touch every aspect of technology in the way that mobile did over the past five, ten years," Wilson said.

Of course, not everyone was willing to play along. "I have no idea, and I think people who think they do are wrong," responded Vinod Khosla of Khosla Ventures.

10 Qualities of People With High Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have an unlimited amount of success in both their personal and professional lives? It could be because they possess high emotional intelligence.

According to Psychology Today, "Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others." This usually involves:

• emotional awareness, which includes the ability to identify your own emotions as well as those of others;
• the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks such as problem solving;
• the ability to manage your emotions, such as being able to calm down when you're upset.

If you want to know if you have a high emotional intelligence (EI) or want to work on strengthening your EI in order to succeed in life and your career, here are 10 qualities that people with high EI all share.

1. They're not perfectionists.

Being a perfectionist can get in the way of completing tasks and achieving goals since it can lead to having trouble getting started, procrastinating, and looking for the right answer when there isn't one. This is why people with EI aren't perfectionists. They realize that perfection doesn't exist and push forward. If they make a mistake, they'll make adjustments and learn from it. This is one I personally have to work on daily as I tend to be a little more perfectionist.

2. They know how to balance work and play.

Working 24/7 and not taking care of yourself adds unnecessary stress and health problems to your life. Because of this, people with EI know when it's time to work and when to play. For example, if they need to disconnect from the world for a couple of hours, or even an entire weekend, they will because they need the time to unplug to reduce the stress levels.

3. They embrace change.

Instead of dreading change, emotionally intelligent people realize that change is a part of life. Being afraid of change hinders success, so they adapt to the changes around them and always have a plan in place should any sort of change occur.

4. They don't get easily distracted.

People with high EI have the ability to pay attention to the task at hand and aren't easily distracted by their surroundings, such as text or random thought.

5. They're empathetic.

Daniel Goleman, psychologist and author of Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, told The Huffington Post that empathy is one of the five components of emotional intelligence. In fact, being able to relate to others, show compassion, and take the time to help someone are all crucial components of EI. Additionally, being empathic makes people with EI curious about other people and and leads them to ask lots of questions whenever they meet someone new.

6. They know their strengths and weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people know what they're good at and what they're not so great at. They've not just accepted their strengths and weaknesses; they also know how to leverage their strengths and weaknesses by working with the right people in the right situation.

7. They're self-motivated.

Were you that ambitious and hard-working kid who was motivated to achieve a goal--and not just because there was a reward at the end? Being a real go-getter, even at a young age, is another quality possessed by people with EI.

8. They don't dwell in the past.

People with high EI don't have the time to dwell in the past because they're too busy contemplating the possibilities that tomorrow will bring. They don't let past mistakes consume them with negativity. They don't hold grudges. Both add stress and prevent us from moving forward.

9. They focus on the positive.

Emotionally intelligent people would rather devote their time and energy to solving a problem. Instead of harping on the negative, they look at the positive and what they have control over. Furthermore, they also spend their time with other positive people and not the people who constantly complain.

10. They set boundaries.

While people with high EI may seem like pushovers because of their politeness and compassion, they actually have the power to establish boundaries. For example, they know how to say no to others. The reason? It prevents them from getting overwhelmed, burned out, and stressed because they have too many commitments. Instead, they're aware that saying no frees them up from completing previous commitments.