7 Habits of EFFECTIVE FAMILY : Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw

Sharpening the saw means attending regularly to renewal in all of the life balance areas. Covey identifies four key areas of life, Physical, Social/Emotional, Spiritual and Mental and looks at

renewal for both the individual and family.

In a family environment repeating habits of family renewal create traditions. These will obviously vary from family to family and examples from Covey’s and other families are given. Probably the most important of these traditions is having fun together.

From Survival…. To Stability…. To Success…. To Significance

Covey brings the Seven Habits together in a variation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the movement from survival to stability, to success and onto significance. He contends that as we move through these stages we progress from problem solving to creating. In the areas of survival and stability we primarily focus our mental energy on problem solving. As we move toward success and significance the emphasis shifts to creating goals, vision and purpose that transcend the family itself. ‘When you’re problem minded, you want to eliminate something. When you’re opportunity or vision minded, you want to bring something into existence and this is a totally different mind-set.

This same transition applies equally to businesses as outlined in ‘Built to Last’. Covey uses the concept of a Force Field to consider the impact of ‘driving and restraining forces on the path from survival to significance. He contends that it is necessary to completely remove the restraining forces or they will eventually restore the old equilibrium.

There are four leadership roles that move a family (or business) along the path from survival to

significance –

1. Modelling – you cannot guide people unless you ‘walk the talk’

2. Mentoring – building trusting relationships that opens others to influence and teaching

3. Organising – aligning structures and systems to allow you to accomplish objectives

4. Teaching – the above are the preconditions that enable teaching to take place.

Thinking about these roles highlights the distinction between managing and leading, between doing what is urgent or what is important. ‘Family life today is a high-wire trapeze act with no

safety net. Only through principle-centred leadership can you provide a net in the form of moral authority in the culture itself, and simultaneously build the mind-set and the skill-set to perform the necessary “acrobatics” required.’