Laloo Jokes : Part 1

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are LieCloks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?" That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."

Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"

"Laloo's clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

---

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the  security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

---

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference  between Bihar and Las Vegas..So he called up the Tourist  department and asked them "Ji..could you tell me the time  difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at  the other end  replies "One second sir..." and  Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.

---

Laloos family planning policy.."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO  CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"

---

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.

Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !!
Laloo, third from left!

---

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he_d been working on for quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT_S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE THIS NOTE, IT READS - FOR 4-7YRS".

---

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo  replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

---

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese  Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with  Bihar and  he stated,  "Bihar is an excellent state.  Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"